The Marriage Guides
The Marriage Guides
There is never a bad time to do good things
for your marriage. - Sam
530-444-8828
The Marriage Guides
Welcome
Sam and Kerri Moehlenpah
We are Sam and Kerri, the duo behind the Marriage Guides. We love our family and our life and our home. We have been married twenty-four years. We are parents to three incredibly gifted children who challenge us daily and who we love madly and do our best to parent through every stage of life.
We have a dog, a cat and three goats. We love the Marvel Universe movies {all of our animals have Marvel themed names}, black coffee, chips and salsa, the perfect french fry, working together, and dreaming about our future. We actively seek adventure and believe that memories of shared experiences is what makes life rich and worthwhile.
We fiercely seek connection with each other. We believe that deeper intimacy comes with communication and the understanding that we are a team. Being licensed therapists doesn’t mean we have the perfect marriage {which many people ask us about} it means that we see the pitfalls and utilize our skills and training to avoid, constructively work through, and process issues through to connection.
We are both licensed Marriage and Family Therapists in California (MFT37887 & MFT41949) who have been in private practice for more than 20 years. The Marriage Guides represent a desire to think outside the box and offer something unique and special for couples. This approach allows us to combine our passion for positively impacting marriages with our dream and desire to work together, not just as colleagues, but as teammates!
Sam graduated from Western Seminary in Los Gatos, CA with his degree in Marriage and Family Therapy in 1998. Kerri graduated from Bethel Seminary in San Diego, CA with her degree in Marriage and Family Therapy in 2001. Both Sam and Kerri have completed Level 1, 2, & 3 of the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy. Together they founded their private practice called Thrive at Home in 2013.
THE WHO
The WHO is YOU and YOUR MARRIAGE!
First of all, congratulations for just being here! If you are seeking help for your marriage that's a big deal. Research says that couples usually wait at least 6 years AFTER noticing significant problems before seeking help. So you are already well on your way to improving your relationship.
If you're here, we are going to make a few assumptions:
1. You are looking for answers...you want someone who knows what they are doing and who will tell you the truth.
2. You are willing to "do what it takes" to save your relationship and make it better.
3. You've had any of the following thoughts:
- Is it normal for relationships to be so difficult?
- I know things aren't terrible...but I feel there is still something missing.
- I refuse to be a statistic...
- I used to say, "divorce isn't an option" but lately I've been on the fence.
- I have tried things before...what's going to be different this time?
- I needed things changed YESTERDAY...
- I'm worried that I've "fallen" out of love...
- I don't know if I will ever be able to trust again...my heart is broken.
- I refuse to quit, give up, throw in the towel until we have tried everything...
- I don't need to be told what's wrong...I need someone to help me do more of what's right...
- The kids are a reason to stay married, but that's not enough...
- Whoever said "love is a battlefield" was spot on. Things have been getting out of hand lately.
- I'm beginning to think we are more like roommates than lovers...
4. You want to have a great marriage not just survive it.
5. You like us. You might not know us, but you probably already know if you like us or not. You should probably like us especially since we are going to work on your most important relationship together.
THE WHY
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard
Here's the WHY behind the WHAT.
We believe in you. We believe that you and your relationship CAN change. We believe in the value and sanctity of your marriage. We are convinced that marriage is more than merely a "contract" or "piece of paper." We also believe that healthy marriages are the not only the foundation for healthy lives but healthy families.
We are definitively PRO-MARRIAGE, meaning we want you to win at marriage so you don't have to worry we won't be suggesting divorce no matter how bad things look right now. Why? Well, for starters, that simply isn't our place. Ultimately what happens with your marriage will be your decision and the result of the choices you make. However, in our opinion just because things may seem hopeless at this moment and you may be deeply unsatisfied with your relationship, it doesn't mean that it should end. In fact we have research and experience with couples that says otherwise! (Check out this study.)
We are committed to not take either parties' side but rather stand on the side of your marriage and fight for it.
Now just to be clear, by 'saving a marriage' we do not mean simply keeping two people physically together where one or both spouses are miserable. " We believe that spouses can discover renewed purpose, connection, value and joy together, allowing them to turn the page and begin to write a different ending to their marriage story, filled with new and exciting chapters. We know that as counselors we can't "fix" the problem for you. We also know that not every relationship will make it. But for those who are willing to try...we can set the stage for a MARRIAGE COMEBACK!
If you weren't happy with yesterday,
try something different today. Don't stay stuck. Do better.
THE WHAT
The Marriage Guides is us getting to share everything we have learned personally from our own marriage , professionally from our individual work with couples in our private practice and from the insights and wisdom from our advanced training in John Gottman's marriage research.
You get to meet with both of us.
This is pretty unique. It's a bit of a unicorn but it's something we both really enjoy. By meeting with both of us, you get to see two different perspectives at work. Not only do you get to see how we both work together as a couple but also see how our individual strengths get to shine. While Kerri's strengths allow her to stay on task, teach necessary skills and follow through with a clear actionable plan. Sam's strengths help him quickly make connections with couples and quickly identify patterns, and create one of a kind word pictures/analogies for couples to better conceptualize their relationship.This is pretty unique. It's a bit of a unicorn but it's something we both really enjoy. By meeting with both of us, you get to see two different perspectives at work. Not only do you get to see how we both work together as a couple but also see how our individual strengths get to shine. While Kerri's strengths allow her to stay on task, teach necessary skills and follow through with a clear actionable plan. Sam's strengths help him quickly make connections with couples and quickly identify patterns, and create one of a kind word pictures/analogies for couples to better conceptualize their relationship.
The Options
We are confident that we can guide you towards getting your marriage back on track.
1The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Couples Workshop - ONLINE
6 Week Class - $400/per couple
February 19th-March 26th
3-5pm (PST)
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN IN OUR RELATIONSHIP WORKSHOPS:
- Foster respect, affection and closeness
- Build and share a deeper connection with each other's inner world
- Keep conflict discussions calm
- Breakthrough and resolve conflict gridlock
- Strengthen and maintain the gains in your relationship
This class combines teaching and demonstrations with one-on-one work sessions where you and your partner focus on your relationship with each other. Confidentiality is strictly maintained. Although we encourage questions and comments, you do not need to speak in the workshop if you do not want.
For more information click here.
2Take the Relationship Checkup and have an initial session to get the results. $250
The Relationship Checkup based on 40 years of marriage research by the Gottman Institute and it provides us with a 360 degree view of your entire relationship with 337 questions about friendship, intimacy, emotions, conflict, values, and trust, as well as parenting, housework, finances, individual areas of concern, and more.
Then we will schedule a 1 hour initial session to discuss the results and determine if our services will be a good fit moving forward.
3Marriage Coaching Sessions with Sam and Kerri. $350/ 90 minutes
4Gottman Relational Builder $150
The Gottman Relationship Builder allows us to assign specific professionally created homework modules from the Gottman Institute to help you create lasting change to your relationship.
We have seen it over and over. The couples that work the hardest on the homework see the most result!
5The Package $2250
This includes the Relationship Check up, Six - 90 minute Marriage Coaching Sessions with Sam and Kerri plus the Gottman Relationship builder.
- Join the AdventureDon't miss the opportunity to upgrade your relationship!
PROFILES
Here's the long story short.
We've been doing this awhile.
We are confident we can help
And WE LOVE what we do!
BUT it's not about us.
We want to see YOU and YOUR MARRIAGE succeed!
Sam's Bio
Strengths: WOO, Activator, Communication,
Maximizer and Positivity
Sam is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California (MFC37887). Sam graduated from Western Seminary in Los Gatos, CA with his degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. He has been working in private practice doing counseling since 2000. Sam spent 2 1/2 years training and supervising therapists for the Fleet and Family Support Counseling Center for the Navy at Naval Base San Diego and then served as a Family Advocacy Clinician for the Marine Corps at MCAS Miramar for 2 1/2 years. He became the "go to" referral for marriage counseling by his peers. Sam has completed Level 1, 2 &3 of the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy.
Kerri's Bio
Strengths: Deliberator, Analytical, Context,
Adaptability and Harmony
Kerri is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California (MFC41949). Kerri graduated from Bethel Seminary in San Diego, CA with her degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. Kerri started in private practice in 2005 and then left to be a full-time mom in 2010. During her time away she volunteered by leading therapy groups for GenerateHope an awesome organization that rehabilitates victims of human trafficking and sexual slavery. Kerri specializes in working with couples, helping them to rebuild trust and rediscover the connection in their marriage. Kerri has completed Level 1, 2, & 3 in the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy.
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Instagram @themarriageguidesCheck out our latest updates!
Call or Text us at
530-444-8828
themarriageguides@gmail.com
Communication Basics
Just a few recent thoughts to help couples communicate better.
Unfinished Business...
Here's a few of our thoughts, and musings about marriage, relationships and our journey of making room for one more through adoption. This blog is also about a real life battle with perfectionism. It would seem that no post we attempt to write ever seems quite "finished" enough. But we are sharing anyway.
April 24, 2018Read more...In these videos Sam and Kerri have a conversation about boundaries and how they sometimes go wrong.January 25, 2018 · Conflict Resolution,CommunicationRead more...Too many couples get stuck in a nasty cycle of trying to assign blame for their problems...squarely on their partner's buttocks (preferably pronounced with a Forrest Gump accent). It looks like the childhood game where you take a kid, blindfold them, hand them a thumbtack and a paper tail and...December 24, 2017 · Love LanguagesRead more...52 Things I love about you... A few years ago when finances were tight Kerri gave me a gift that keeps on giving. She wrote down 52 things she loved about me on a deck of cards. It was a simple gift but took some serious effort on her part. BUT it continues to speak my love language of Words of...December 12, 2017 · Problem SolvingRead more...Here’s something I thought up tonight in a session. It’s for the couples who have lots of conflict over house cleaning, chores, or simply just not being on the same page about what is important. Basically for some couples this is one of their perpetual issues. It’s never going to be fixed. We...December 6, 2017 · CommunicationRead more...Tis the Season to be Generous So the holidays are typically a time where generosity makes a comeback. Not that it isn't present the rest of the year but clearly the holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas push it to the forefront. Anyway this really isn't meant to be holiday post but I just read...September 14, 2017 · ExpectationsRead more...So let's talk about housework. Domestic duties. Role expectations. Recently I was working with a couple who was having tremendous conflict around this subject. Who was responsible for what? Who came up with this list? Was it something that was agreed to or just assigned? If they agree to do...More Posts
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530-444-8828
Copyright © 2022 The Marriage Guides™
All Rights Reserved.
1125 Hope Lane, Redding, CA 96003
And now a message from our attorney:
Disclaimer: The contents of this website are for informational and educational purposes and does not constitute, establish, initiate or imply any sort of professional-patient relationship. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional psychological, psychiatric or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental disorder. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in our newsletter or on our site.
If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. If you are in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a free, 24-hour hotline, at 988. If your issue is an emergency, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. The Marriage Guides™ does not offer crisis counseling or emergency services.