• We will walk with you when things get tough.

    858-252-0822

  • The Marriage Guides

    Sam and Kerri Moehlenpah, LMFT’s

    LMFT37887 & LMFT41949

    We are both licensed Marriage and Family Therapists who have been in private practice for more than 15 years. The Marriage Guides represent a desire to think outside the box and offer something unique and special for couples. This approach allows us to combine our passion for positively impacting marriages with our dream and desire to work together, not just as colleagues, but as teammates! We have been married for 19 years with 3 amazing kiddos and bring a unique combination of real life experience blended with our professional training.

     

    Sam graduated from Western Seminary in Los Gatos, CA with his degree in Marriage and Family Therapy in 1998. Kerri graduated from Bethel Seminary in San Diego, CA with her degree in Marriage and Family Therapy in 2001. Both Sam and Kerri have completed Level 1, 2, & 3 of the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy. Together they founded their private practice called Thrive at Home in 2013.

  • Who an Why

    Who

     

    First of all, congratulations for just being here! Research says that couples usually wait at least 6 years AFTER noticing significant problems before seeking help. So you are already well on your way to improving your relationships.

     

    If you are here, we are going to make a few assumptions:

    1. You are looking for answers...you want someone who knows what they are doing and who will tell you the truth.

    2. You are willing to "do what it takes" to save your relationship and make it better.

    3. You want to have a great marriage not just survive it.

    4. You like us. You might not know us, but you probably already know if you like us or not.

    You should probably like us especially since we are going to work on your most important relationship together.

    Why

    We believe in you. We believe that you and your relationship CAN change. We believe in the value and sanctity of your marriage. We are convinced that marriage is more than merely a "contract" or "piece of paper." We also believe that healthy marriages are the not only the foundation for healthy lives but healthy families.

     

    We are definitively PRO-MARRIAGE, meaning we want you to win at marriage so you don't have to worry we won't be suggesting divorce no matter how bad things look right now. Why? Well, for starters, that simply isn't our place. Ultimately what happens with your marriage will be your decision and the result of the choices you make. However, in our opinion just because things may seem hopeless at this moment and you may be deeply unsatisfied with your relationship, it doesn't mean that it should end. In fact we have research and experience with couples that says otherwise! (Check out this study.)

     

    We are committed to not take either parties' side but rather stand on the side of your marriage and fight for it.

     

    Now just to be clear, by 'saving a marriage' we do not mean simply keeping two people physically together where one or both spouses are miserable. We call ourselves "Thrive At Home" because we believe that spouses can discover renewed purpose, connection, value and joy together, allowing them to turn the page and begin to write a different ending to their marriage story, filled with new and exciting chapters. We know that as counselors we can't "fix" the problem for you. We also know that not every relationship will make it. But for those who are willing to try...we can set the stage for a MARRIAGE COMEBACK!

     

    If you weren't happy with yesterday,

    try something different today. Don't stay stuck. Do better. 

  • Why is this unique?

    Time

    Many couples have difficulty finding the time that works for both of them to actually focus and work on their relationship. Typically, this means trying to coordinate schedules, finding a time after work, between kids sports commitments, arranging a babysitter then doing that on a consistent basis.

    This can be a huge challenge in a fast paced society.

     

    We tried to learn from our private practice couples and create a solution where much of the prep work and follow up could be done at your own pace.

     

    Here our sessions are 1.25 hours in length with both of us. These sessions are long enough to get some serious work done. You will learn specific insights on negative patterns and identify positive alternatives to help get back on track.

    Meeting with Both of Us

    In meeting with both of us it provides the opportunity to get the best of two different perspectives. Not only do you get to see how we both work together as a couple but also see how our individual strengths get to shine. While Kerri strengths allow her to stay on task, teach necessary skills and follow through with a clear actionable plan. Sam strengths help him quickly make a good connection with people, quickly identify patterns, and create one of a kind word pictures/analogies for couples to better conceptualize their relationship.

    Positioned for Success

    Ultimately, if your marriage is going to get to your dream destination it’s going to be because you implemented the things you learned. A true guides role is not to necessarily do the heavy lifting but to point people in the right direction to accomplish their goals.

     

    We have designed a package that focuses on self-reliance and guidance rather than rescue and intervention. We think this benefits everyone in the long run. We often say it’s our goal to work ourselves out of a job.

  • The Guidance Package

    We are confident that we can guide you towards

    getting your marriage back on track.

    1

    Take the Online

    Relationship Checkup

    Within 24 hours of payment we send you both an email invitation to fill out the questionnaire which usually takes about 1-2 hours to complete.

     

    The Relationship Checkup based on 40 years of marriage research by the Gottman Institute and it provides us with a 360 degree view of your entire relationship.

    Both Strengths and Opportunities.

    2

    Learning Your Story

    Once the Relationship Checkup is complete we will send you a serious of open ended questions for you to honestly share your understanding of what is going on and how you see the issues. This will help us see your individual perspectives of the problem and gets us ready for our face to face Meeting.

    3

    The Meeting

    We will set up a convenient time and place for all of us. This meeting usually lasts about 1.25 hours. We will give you specific guidance based on prep work and our in person conversation. We will make sure to address the most important issues and give you some tools get you back on track.

     

    The location of this meeting is flexible. We can meet at our offices, online via a secure video conference or even potentially on a hike.

    4

    The Follow Up

    We will provide you with 4 weeks of simple marriage exercises that are great for every marriage that will come to you in your email.

     

    As well as a customized trail map that is specifically tailored just for you and your marriage.

    5

    As Needed

    Ongoing Support

    We’re here for you. For many couples the one session will radically help them change directions but we understand that some situations are going to be more complex. Now that we know your story we’d love to continue to support your marriage in whatever way is best for you.

  • Ready to get started?

  • Ready to Schedule?

    Feel free to Call or Text us at 858-252-0822

  • Follow us on Instagram @TheMarriageGuides

    Check out our latest updates!

  • Communication Basics

    Just a few recent thoughts to help couples communicate better.

  • Unfinished Business...

    Here's a few of our thoughts, and musings about marriage, relationships and our journey of making room for one more through adoption. This blog is also about a real life battle with perfectionism. It would seem that no post we attempt to write ever seems quite "finished" enough. But we are sharing anyway.

    2018年4月24日
    In these videos Sam and Kerri have a conversation about boundaries and how they sometimes go wrong.
    Read more...
    2018年1月25日 · Conflict Resolution,Communication
    Too many couples get stuck in a nasty cycle of trying to assign blame for their problems...squarely on their partner's buttocks (preferably pronounced with a Forrest Gump accent). It looks like the childhood game where you take a kid, blindfold them, hand them a thumbtack and a paper tail and...
    Read more...
    2017年12月24日 · Love Languages
    52 Things I love about you... A few years ago when finances were tight Kerri gave me a gift that keeps on giving. She wrote down 52 things she loved about me on a deck of cards. It was a simple gift but took some serious effort on her part. BUT it continues to speak my love language of Words of...
    Read more...
    2017年12月12日 · Problem Solving
    Here’s something I thought up tonight in a session. It’s for the couples who have lots of conflict over house cleaning, chores, or simply just not being on the same page about what is important. Basically for some couples this is one of their perpetual issues. It’s never going to be fixed. We...
    Read more...
    2017年12月6日 · Communication
    Tis the Season to be Generous So the holidays are typically a time where generosity makes a comeback. Not that it isn't present the rest of the year but clearly the holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas push it to the forefront. Anyway this really isn't meant to be holiday post but I just read...
    Read more...
    2017年9月14日 · Expectations
    So let's talk about housework. Domestic duties. Role expectations. Recently I was working with a couple who was having tremendous conflict around this subject. Who was responsible for what? Who came up with this list? Was it something that was agreed to or just assigned? If they agree to do...
    Read more...
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