Tis the Season to be Generous
So the holidays are typically a time where generosity makes a comeback. Not that it isn't present the rest of the year but clearly the holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas push it to the forefront. Anyway this really isn't meant to be holiday post but I just read a quote by Brene Brown in her new book Braving the Wilderness where she says, " Whats the most generous assumption we can make about the people around us?"
What's the most generous assumption we can make about the people around us?" - Brene Brown
This quote really struck a chord with me because one thing I consistently see is couples who are in the middle of a miscommunication and feeling very disconnected from one another tend to make a lot of very harsh and negative assumptions about each other.
It seems they start interpreting what each other is saying in the WORST possible way. I find myself listening to they stories and being very confused. Why? because I'm believing what their spouse is saying...maybe because I'm naive, maybe it's because I'm not married to their spouse but maybe it's because my interpretation of what is being said is clearly different. As a result of my different interpretation, a more positive one, then my feelings and behavior towards their spouse differs.
I realize this thought could be developed a lot more but I thought I would at least get this far.
Maybe this would be a good season to make a more generous assumption about what your spouse is saying. Truly it might just save Christmas.
Instead of interpreting everything in the WORST possible light. Take a moment to consider what would the interpretation be if I considered this in the BEST possible light instead. What if I assumed the BEST about what is going on instead of the WORST. How would I behave differently?
Doing complicated work with couples means that you can never feel CERTAIN about anything but I do think that intentionally trying to be more generous with our assumptions of others behaviors would make relationships easier.
If I assumed the best about people...how would that change how I felt and acted towards them?